I'm a symptomatic love addict

I'm horrible at organizing my thoughts...

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 06:45:16 GMT

but here's a short entry to let you know where I'm at.

Ocala 2009 was FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC. I have never had to pee so many times from laughing until I couldn't breathe. And that's not even including our amazing ponies. Speaking of ponies, besides being reared up with the first day, everything was incredible. Beautiful trails on my trusty pony Sally (I'm 5'7 and all legs.. hahaha) and jumping through the woods and up and down slopes with Legend. I wish I lived there all the time. FCMR.org

I'm gearing up to head to UCF in the big O-Town. I'm terrified I won't get loans or my aid will fall through. It's SO stressful. If it does work out, I'm goin to be so happy and relieved to be there. I love, love, love central Florida and I even managed to find two promising eventing barns and a myriad of Hunter/Jumper ones. Now I just need a job to pay for my rent/books/tuition/food/riding... How can my expenses list be so... expensive?

Anyway, it's almost 3 am and I should really go sleep or I'm going to be a cranky monster tomorrow. Ugh. Night. :]

Snort

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 21:01:57 GMT

Parrot lovers? Enjoy this
Dear Amazon Parrot I Have Been Supporting for Over 15 Years Who Still Tries to Bite Me for No Apparent Reason,

I am writing because I have a surprise for you. Ever since you've been living with me (rent-free, I might add), you have led me to believe you can't understand a single word I say. Even a simple command like "Please stop pecking at my eyes" goes unheeded. You've also seemed completely unable to imitate human speech. For an embarrassing number of years, I carefully repeated the same simple words and phrases, always hoping that someday you might repeat them back to me. One morning I would be preparing your usual gigantic breakfast assortment of tropical fruits, whole-grain toast points, and pricey organic cereals, when a wee voice would issue from your little feathered head and you would finally say to me, "You're such a pretty bird! I love you, pretty bird!" That was my dream.

Instead, over a decade later, you have apparently learned only three vocalizations: the cackling laugh of an evil hag (a sarcastic parody of my own innocent laughter?); a tuneless steam-whistle sound rising in pitch like an engine about to explode; and your favorite, the sudden, high-decibel bloodcurdling scream.

Well, guess what? Recent scientific research has finally exposed your perfidious avian secret: Several parrots have been proven to understand and speak perfect English. As a result, we now know that your species has self-awareness, awareness of the feelings of others, and a heretofore unimagined intelligence. Unimagined by me, anyway, since you never indicated by word (ha-ha!) or deed that you possessed anything more than the simple self-seeking cognition of a lower animal, like, say, a cat. I actually felt sorry for you and your tiny bird brain.

But now I know the truth, Amazon Parrot I Have Been Supporting for Over 15 Years Who Still Tries to Bite Me for No Apparent Reason. You have lived a life of deception and mockery at my expense. And I do mean "at my expense." You are a high-maintenance money pit with feathers. Even though I raised you from a baby, and protected you from all harm, you still won't let me touch your precious little feet and razor-sharp beak without attempting to kill me. As a result, I am forced to pay for a visit to the bird vet every time you need a trim. Yes, only a highly paid professional can safely handle your temper tantrums, your rabid biting, and your needlelike claws aimed at her face.

And what about the overpriced toys I have lavished upon you, only to see you cringe and act as if I'd left a slavering monster in your cage whenever I present you with the latest carefully designed construction guaranteed to "keep your bird happy and intellectually stimulated"? The cleverly designed spiral exercise ladder I bought for you two weeks ago, which you attacked and demolished in a matter of minutes, cost me over $60. I'm not made of money, you know. Oh, that's right—you do know, because you have been eavesdropping on every conversation I've ever had within your hearing, no doubt filing away any information that could be used to manipulate me in the future.

However, O Exalted One, you apparently can't be bothered to actually carry on a conversation with me, even though it is now very clear that you have the ability. Why not? Am I not interesting enough for you, Your Highness? Do you sneer at my lowly human intelligence? Or perhaps you have made a secret rule for yourself that it is beneath your majestic dignity to speak to your groveling servant.

Now that I think of it, I'm actually paying for the "privilege" of serving you. My life now revolves around you and your many needs, all because I thought you were cute and helpless and unable to fend for yourself in this complex world. But it isn't complex for you, is it? You simply demand, and it is done for you. Your wordless scream has been carefully calculated to waver around the exact eardrum-shattering pitch that will drive me into frenzied attempts to placate you so that the awful noise will stop. And, all these years, you could have simply asked me politely for whatever you required.

But no, you kept your cognitive and language abilities to yourself, forcing me to guess frantically at what you wanted, and shrieked like a nuclear warning siren whenever I couldn't somehow psychically pick up on the exact nature of your request. It is now obvious that you are quite the little intellectual, and that your species isn't afraid to use our human technology for your own ends. Now that I have read about your fellow parrots' ability to operate a computer so it will show only the pictures they prefer (pictures of themselves, of course), I think I have figured out just how my new laptop got infected with a mysterious virus that destroyed the hard drive.

Well, the next time you bite into me for no apparent reason, your evil charade will come to an end. I will feel free to demand that you apologize immediately in grammatical, clearly enunciated English. If no such apology is forthcoming, you will find yourself tossed out on the street. Where the hawks and eagles live. Just try playing dumb with them, Amazon Parrot I Have Been Supporting for Over 15 Years Who Still Tries to Bite Me for No Apparent Reason. I'll bet those raptors are just as smart as you.

Sincerely,

Renee Prince
Salem, Oregon

Rudy

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 18:55:30 GMT

"Goodbye Love, Just came to say Goodbye Love, Goodbye."

To the most incredible, patient, comfortable, spooky, sweet horse I've ever met I just want to say we'll miss you. Goodbye Rudy.

Thu, 30 Jun 2005 00:59:09 GMT

Today I finished everything super early. Like by 11:30 I was done with Fish house, Manatee fruit, Deer food, AND Croc food. And we didn't need any baby Manatee formula so Sylvia was like just go help Jackie with some stuff by the bird room. So I got to throw away trash! Woo! lol and the bags fucking broke on us. Then I went up to Celebrity/Manatee exhibit pool and relieved the monitor there. I chatted with some really nice people and these really eager, adorable kids who kept interrupting what I was saying to ask questions. They were so cute. :) I like educating the public, especially the kids who get interested and excited about it. I did both Croc presentations in the afternoon and one stupid bugger wouldn't come out from under my platform for a bit in the beginning and I was scared he was gonna try to eat me, even though those crocs are so lazy you have to throw the chicken right at their mouth for them to make an effort to eat it. In between the two presentations I helped Thomas feed the baby alligators who are nuts. Like they will go for the food and bite whatever is in sight, including the turtles. They eat baby mice!!! :(:(:(:( The frozen mice are so pathetic looking. I also helped Jackie put some birds inside the bird room. The birds are a little crazy too. Alot of them will bite. I was scurred. lol And Thomas made me drive the golf cart that I was afraid to drive. Yes I am so awesome that I was afraid of a golf cart. BUT the golf cart is weird and sensitive! You barely touch it and it shoots forward. I did it though! And took more trash out. My life has alot of trash in it lately. lol Trash and Fish.

Sun, 24 Apr 2005 06:18:33 GMT

FUCKING PIECE OF CRAP FUCKING LJ. MOTHER FUCKER GOD DAMNIT PISS ON YOUR MOTHER'S SHOES LJ JUST DELETED MY ENTRY!!!

HAHAHAHHAHA

Sun, 24 Apr 2005 05:01:20 GMT

Alyssa Christine Blew's Aliases

Your movie star name: Doritos Bill

Your fashion designer name is Alyssa Bristol

Your socialite name is Bun Bun New York

Your fly girl / guy name is A Ble

Your detective name is Horse Coral Reef

Your barfly name is Graham Crackers Strawberry Daiquiri

Your soap opera name is Christine Franjo

Your rock star name is Milk Duds Speed Walkers

Your star wars name is Alypeb Blewon

Your punk rock band name is The Whacked Douche

The Amazing Meganame Generator

Frances...

Wed, 01 Sep 2004 03:54:39 GMT

You all should be aware of hurricane preparations, but in case you
need a refresher course:

We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any minute now,
you're going to turn on the TV and see a weather person pointing to
some radar blob out in the Atlantic Ocean and making two basic
meteorological points.

(1) There is no need to panic.
(2) We could all be killed.

Yes, hurricane season is an exciting time to be in Florida. If you're
new to the area, you're probably wondering what you need to do to
prepare for the possibility that we'll get hit by "the big one."

Based on our insurance industry experiences, we recommend that you
follow this simple three-step hurricane preparedness plan:

STEP 1:

Buy enough food and bottled water to last your family for at least
three days.

STEP 2:

Put these supplies into your car.

STEP 3:

Drive to Nebraska and remain there until Halloween. Unfortunately,
statistics show that most people will not follow this sensible plan.
Most people will foolishly stay here in Florida.

We'll start with one of the most important hurricane preparedness
items:

HOMEOWNERS' INSURANCE:

If you own a home, you must have hurricane insurance. Fortunately,
this insurance is cheap and easy to get, as long as your home meets
two basic requirements:

(1) It is reasonably well-built, and

(2) It is located in Wisconsin

Unfortunately, if your home is located in Florida, or any other area
that might actually be hit by a hurricane, most insurance companies
would prefer not to sell you hurricane insurance, because then they
might be required to pay YOU money, and that is certainly not why they
got into the insurance business in the first place. So you'll have to
scrounge around for an insurance company, which will charge you an
annual premium roughly equal to the replacement value of your house.
At any moment, this company can drop you like used dental floss.

SHUTTERS:

Your house should have hurricane shutters on all the windows, all the
doors. There are several types of shutters, with advantages and
disadvantages:

1)Plywood shutters: The advantage is that, because you make them
yourself, they're cheap.

2)Sheet-metal shutters: The advantage is that these work well, once
you get them all up. The disadvantage is that once you get them all
up, your hands will be useless bleeding stumps, and it will be
December.

3)Roll-down shutters: The advantages are that they're very easy to
use, and will definitely protect your house. The disadvantage is that
you will have to sell your house to pay for them.

4)Hurricane-proof windows: These are the newest wrinkle in hurricane
protection: They look like ordinary windows, but they can withstand
hurricane winds! You can be sure of this, because the salesman says
so. He lives in Nebraska.

HURRICANE PROOFING your property:

As the hurricane approaches, check your yard for movable objects like
barbecue grills, planters, patio furniture, visiting relatives, etc...
You should, as a precaution, throw these items into your swimming pool
(if you don't have a swimming pool,
you should have one built immediately). Otherwise, the hurricane winds
will turn these objects into deadly missiles.

EVACUATION ROUTE:

If you live in a low-lying area, you should have an evacuation route
planned out. (To determine whether you live in a low-lying area, look
at your driver's license; if it says "Florida," you live in a
low-lying area). The purpose of having an evacuation route is to avoid
being trapped in your home when a major storm hits. Instead, you will
be trapped in a gigantic traffic jam several miles from your home,
along with two hundred thousand other evacuees. So, as a bonus, you
will not be lonely.

HURRICANE SUPPLIES:

If you don't evacuate, you will need a mess of supplies. Do not buy
them now! Florida tradition requires that you wait until the last
possible minute, then go to the supermarket and get into vicious
fights with strangers over who gets the last can of SPAM. In addition
to food and water, you will need the following supplies:

1) 23 flashlights.
2)At least $167 worth of batteries that turn out, when the power goes
off, to be the wrong size for the flashlights.

3)Bleach. (No, I don't know what the bleach is for. NOBODY knows what
the bleach is for, but it's traditional, so GET some!)

4)A big knife that you can strap to your leg. (This will be useless in
a hurricane, but it looks cool.)

5)A large quantity of raw chicken, to placate the alligators. (Ask
anybody who went through Andrew; after the hurricane, there WILL be
irate alligators.)

6)$35,000 in cash or diamonds so that, after the hurricane passes, you
can buy a generator from a man with no discernible teeth.

Of course these are just basic precautions. As the hurricane draws
near, it is vitally important that you keep abreast of the situation
by turning on your television and watching TV reporters in rain
slickers stand right next to the ocean and tell you over and over how
vitally important it is for everybody to stay away from the ocean.

Yeah that was funny and all that but I seriously feel like I might have a panic attack. A category 4 and probably a 5 by landfall. And they don't know where it's hitting so we don't know what to do. We put up hurricance shutters and I wanted to cry. I got so nervous I had to go make myself soup. What about all of our horses!??! They are gonna DIE! My poor babies. I want stupid Frances to turn around and go back to Africa and then disappear.

Mon, 26 Apr 2004 03:02:07 GMT

Correction- WE LOST TO THE BRAVES!

Mon, 26 Apr 2004 02:58:54 GMT

WE ARE LOSING TO THE BRAVES! 7-2 wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! and jenny is home. just fucking great! thank god for this Hayley Westenra girl's music and Marly or I'd shoot Jenny in Marlins angst.

Sun, 25 Apr 2004 05:56:01 GMT

A final parting note from Foamy thanks kate!

"Shut your mouth, choke on your food, and DIE"

http://www.illwillpress.com/rant.html

Stole everyhting from applerine up from G'ss journal.

Sun, 25 Apr 2004 05:48:39 GMT

**weekend highlights**
G: "blah blah blah blah....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY.....FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
K: AHHH HAHAHAH AHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHA AHHHHHHHH
Me: OMG OMG IM SOO SORRY ILL BUY YOU ANOTHER OMG OMG
G: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-------------------------------------------
G: "are they wearing marlins shirts? If they are this may be our exit...."
my car when I notice cars in front of me have stopped 10 feet ahead of me on turnpike as Im going 70 mph: SCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
K: MY TOE, YOU BROKE MY TOE!
-------------------------------------------

Kid we met: "Were do you guys live?"
G: "Down south"
Kid: Have you ever been robbed?
Me: Are you planning on robbing us?"
G: We dont live in the GHETTO!
------------------------------------------

G: Whats her last name?
Me: She's like Cher, she doesnt come with one.
-----------------------------------------------

Kristen's 'sexy' face :) :)
-------------------------------------

RED TOUNGES....GIVE ME AN APPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!
---------------------------------------------
Staying in the stadium until we got kicked out! WOOT our goal :) :)
---------------------------------------------
VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR....80's kereoke night in G's car...
--------------------------------------------
"JASOOOOOON!!! JASON I LOVE YOU!!!! JASOOOOOOOOOOOOON!?!?!?!?" Kristen yells at kid in wendys!
------------------------------------------------
G: May I have an large order of mac and cheese?"
lady at KFC: Sorry we are out
G: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOURE OUT!? THATS ALL I CAN EAT
Lady: Hold on let me check.Oh wait, we do have some. Two smalls.
--------------------------------------------
Me: I dont want to do anything illegal
--------------------------------------------
K: Its not breaking in if we have permission
G: Even with doo rags on our heads?
-----------------------------------------
KRISTEN IS A PENIS HEAD
--------------------------------------
DEEEEEEEWAAYNE
--------------
ANDRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUW
--------------------
Our gansta' BAT BOY!
--------------------------
Georgia, we cant see you, tell steven to stand up
--------------------------------
G: Look out for them
Me: we dont know what they look like
K: there he is!
Me: how do you know?
K: Hes TALL!
------------------------------
Is this a praking space? It is now
----------------------------------
WE WANT KRISPY KREME
--------------------------
I didnt get my ball
----------------------
dancing like mad in G's car
-----------------------------
"I SPILLED MACAROONI ALL OVER ME, TWO DAY OLD MACAROONI THATS BEEN SITTING IN MY CAR!"- G
---------------------------------------------------------
DOOOOO RAGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Applerine!

-----------------

Does anyone know where the hell we're going. Bucket says the name. Ahh thank god for you.

-----------------

"DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME ON ME, YOU'RE ALREADY THE VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD!"

-----------------

"SLAPPY....SLAPPY....SLAPPY....WHERE'S YOUR CHANT NOW? OOoooOOooooOOO (taunting the one braves fan in our section with his own song. HA!)

-----------------

What about those people who thought Kristen was drunk while she was jamming in the longest line to get out of pro player everrrrr?

-----------------

I love being a fucking retard! See kids... this proves you don't need drugs, you can be fucked up all by yourself. MaAaAaAd Schnoogles! <3 Alyssa

Marlins again... AND WE FUCKIN WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sun, 25 Apr 2004 05:05:43 GMT

AHHHHH WE WON!!!!! fuckin rocks!!! TWO DOUBLE PLAYS! GO HOME BRAVES! I hope we beat the pants off you tomorrow. lol I have Marlins mania now. Just great Georgia! lol I <3 becketts attitude and whoever pitched last today was awesome. We should figure that out. It wasn't as retarded (funny retarded) today cuz Georgia wasn't with us to spread the Marlins euphoria but we screamed like hell for Lowell for you to be happy G! and some poor man got hit in the face with a foul ball. He had to be walked out or something? He was really close to us but I couldn't see him. Ahh so the penis pants were back in full glory but only one butt pat I saw! Dissapointment! but BATBOY was there. The atlanta braves bat boy is so thugged out and pudgy. lol when he runs to get the bat he is just cute. lol So Shep and his friend were really nice and we all suck cuz we coudln't find a damn krispykreme to get our free doughnuts! aww and we were late and MISSED Conine's homerun!!!! pooon us late girls but there was NO where to park and we ended up so far away that the stadium looked like a far off mountain. lol and the giant tv screens make me smile! :P lol got ghetto KFC and ate that and kinda just chilled and talked. oh and we went to the gas station to buy gatorade for dallas and G and K bought these ghetto doo rags and were wearing them! AT A GAS STATION! I could barely breathe for laughing at them and the gas station attendant guy who was trying to politely ignore them. When we go to Southwinds we had to hop southwinds fence to check on Dallas and his diarrhea issues which I could do just fine having done it before, Georgia did quite well (in a skirt no less), and lets just say Kristen needs to work on her technique for hopping fences. lol So he was still sick and then G dropped me and K off. I need to get a damn license. But it was a great day GO FISH!!! Damnit G I <3 beckett now. *grumble, grumble*